It was something about the helicopter, she knew. He’d asked her to hike in with him and there had been no need. She understood what he’d told her, that he’d wanted time for them to get to know each other and that they would have a good time together. But…
But why did it hurt so damn much? She rested her head on the steering wheel and drew in a deep breath. She felt stupid. Which didn’t make sense. No wonder Arizona was confused—she couldn’t make sense of it herself. She’d agreed to go into the wilderness with him. She’d even brought along a condom. So the fact that they’d become lovers shouldn’t be such a huge shock. She’d wanted it, too. But telling herself that didn’t make the pain in her chest go away.
She got out of the car and pulled her backpack from the small trunk. She’d barely made it to the base of the rear steps when the back door opened and Cassie stepped out onto the porch.
“You’re back! I’m so excited. I’ve been sitting here waiting. I want to hear every single detail. Start at the beginning and talk slowly.”
Chloe stared at her sister’s happy face. Cassie grinned like a Cheshire cat. “Was it wonderful?” she asked. “Did you two do the wild thing?”
Without warning, Chloe burst into tears. One minute she’d been fine, but the next sobs choked her as tears poured down her face.
Cassie was at her side in an instant. “Oh, Chloe, I’m so sorry. Come on. Come inside. I don’t know what’s wrong, but I do know that we can fix it together.”
Chloe found herself led into the kitchen. Cassie took her backpack from her and set it in the corner. She settled her sister in one of the kitchen chairs, disappeared for a second, then returned with a box of tissues. While Chloe tried to bring herself under control, Cassie started heating milk for cocoa.
The familiar smells made Chloe want to weep more. Their mother had often made cocoa to help them through life’s troubles when they were growing up. It remained a tradition today. Chloe wished that her problems were as simple as they had been all those years ago. The warm drink frequently worked when she’d done poorly on a spelling test or had been teased by a boy in school, but she doubted it was going to help tonight.
Still, she took the mug Cassie offered and when her sister took the seat across from her, she tried to smile. “It’s not so bad,” she said. “I’m fine.”
“Oh, I can tell.” Cassie tucked her thick, dark hair behind her ears and leaned forward. “Start at the beginning and tell me what’s wrong.”
“I don’t know where to begin.” She took a sip of the steaming liquid. The rich chocolate taste comforted her. “It’s all so complicated. I never meant—” She broke off and glanced around. “Where’s Aunt Charity?”
Cassie frowned. She’d never understood Chloe’s reluctance to trust their aunt. “She’s out with friends. Dinner and a movie. She’ll be home late. Quit stalling. What’s going on?”
Chloe resisted the urge to unburden herself. “I can’t. You’ll get angry.”
“Why? You haven’t done anything to me. I’m your sister, I care about you. I want to help.”
“I know, but you’ll be hurt and—” She pressed her lips together. She had really made a mess of things. “I never thought it would get so complicated.”
“Chloe, you’re not making any sense. What is too complicated? I know this is about Arizona, but I don’t know how. Did something bad happen? Did he hurt you?”
“No,” Chloe answered, knowing what her sister was asking. Arizona had hurt her but not in a way that was anyone’s fault. “I want to tell you and I will, but please don’t be mad.”
Cassie made an X over her heart. “I swear.”
As Chloe tried to speak, fresh tears filled her eyes. She wiped them away with the back of her hand, then took a sip of the cocoa. “It’s all because of that stupid nightgown,” she said at last. “We had sex and it ruined everything.” The knot in her stomach tightened. She’d made a complete fool out of herself and she had only herself to blame. What on earth had she been thinking? Why had she given in? He must think… Chloe realized she didn’t know what Arizona thought of her, which, in a way, made things worse.
“I don’t understand,” Cassie said. “What does the nightgown have to do with anything? Did you take it with you and wear it?”
“No.” Chloe sniffed. “I lied. The night of my birthday, when I wore the nightgown, I did have a dream. I dreamed about Arizona. It was so incredibly real and passionate. I didn’t know what had happened. I couldn’t really believe the family legend was anything but a joke. I was embarrassed and I thought it was stupid. That’s why I didn’t tell you. Then when I saw him on the television, I was so stunned, I didn’t know what to say. Since then, everything has been out of control. I’m confused and scared and I’m really, really sorry.”